The Idiots are on De Palma Court/Transcript
(the adults are readying for the day. They enter their cars after finishing up) (intro) (the adults are present in a diner. Luther looks at Laney's plate) Luther: Is that cornbread? Laney: You're on a diet. Luther: I love cornbread. Laney: It sticks in your throat. Besides, the lord doesn't condone gluttony. Cosmo: Okay, religious overtures aside, thank you all for coming. Bob: And thank you for paying for our meals. Cosmo: Wait what? Andy: So you drag us to some dinky diner and you expect us to pay for our food? That is a whole new level of asinine. Cosmo: Just shut up and hear me out! We're a community, and we need to keep that factoid as strong as it needs to be. Delta: Isn't it strong enough already? I've practically got all the women attending my bookclub, and the only ones that can't are usually working around the meeting times. Allison: I could vouch for that. Cosmo: That's not enough. We need to make sure things stay normal, well, normal in a relative sense. Last thing we need is to be thrown in some alternate dimension, or be taken over by sentient garden worms or, heck, our county swaying to the other party- Mike: Don't put that thought into our heads. Thanks to democracy half of our state is uninhabited. Robert: Yeah, and it's not the cool uninhabited like Rhyolite and others, just a bunch of trees and grass and rubble and- Autumn: Shut up! Chris: Hey, why're you looking out the window Dallas? Dallas: Oh there's this rental home I've been eying since yesterday. Cosmo: Wait, the Rhys are out? Chelsea: You're the block captain and you don't know about the latest evictions? You oughta be ashamed Cosmo. Cosmo: You oughta be grateful I invited you you Las Vegas deadbeat. But what's that to us? Jerv: Some might think that the Rhys' departure would hold an impact on the community. Bob: Never liked the Rhys. Too pushy. Enid: Can't tell how many times they forced me to vacate because of my outfit situation. Edgar: And not only that, they had Ms. Rhys, she was a mean woman. Martha: Forget her, she's gone now. That makes me the meanest one on the block now. Preston: And there we have our impact. Lars: So where're we on the property? Candy: I live two houses away- Lars: No you idiot, is it up for sale? What's the land like? Have they left any goodies behind? Frank: What're you driving at? Tito: Property could be sold, but before then the property could be flipped and resold for a much grander fortune. If you guys want any part in this, me and Lars would be more than happy to give you all a cut. Ned: Hmmm, a 34 way split seems kinda tight. Veronica: I guess you could leave me out, I've got money. Autumn: Aw... Lars: What? Don't tell me you're going soft. Autumn: No, it's just that the new property has given me an idea. I hardly have any time away from the kids, let alone any place to go to be myself. Boris: Our kids aren't much of a bother, they're out of the house more often than we are. Vivian: Some of ya don't even have kin. Amber: Come to think of it, there're things we'd rather be doing that we can't get away with while the kids are around. Allison: It could save me some extra steps when I get back from work. Cosmo: And I love you guys to death, but I would never allow you to meet at my house. Could be a nice little HQ for the neighborhood committee. Harold: Could be fun decorating the place too. I heard they have a pool and a hot tub. Rosey: Let's put in a bowling alley! Trish: Wise first words. Cosmo: All in favor of getting that house, drink your coffee. (everyone drinks but burns themselves.) Martha: Wimps. (it goes to Mercury. She's laying on her bed while talking on the phone.) Mercury: No way! I was gonna get that! She saved my life quite frankly. (Jupiter enters the room.) Mercury: I would've, but my cellphone doesn't take pictures. Yes those exist. Jupiter: Hey Merc- Mercury: Excuse me a second. (Mercury lets down her phone.) Mercury: Darn it Jupiter, what? Jupiter: I found this picture in a magazine. The person in it had this cool hairstyle and I was wondering if you could do my hair. Mercury: You're old enough to use scissors. Jupiter: But you're the only one who could do hair properly. Mercury: Look Jupiter, I'm not in the mood, just go watch TV or something. Jupiter: Okay. (Jupiter heads downstairs and turns on the TV. The knob breaks in her hand and the TV plays on full.) Mercury: Jupiter, turn that crap down! Jupiter: I can't! The knob broke! Mercury: You're going to help pay for a new one! Jupiter: Come on! Mercury: At least use the remote! (Jupiter looks for the remote and can't find it.) Jupiter: I can't even find the remote! Mercury: You're paying for that too! Jupiter: I didn't even lose it. Mercury: Jupiter. Jupiter: I didn't even use it last. Why am I getting blamed, I'm not that easy of a target! Mercury: Jupiter! Jupiter: Is that all you could say? Mercury: That's all I want to say to you at this point. (Jupiter runs to her room in a huff.) Jupiter: Is this my future? Am I going to take the blame for everything that happens around here now(? I didn't lose that remote gosh darn it. (Jupiter hears something and heads to her window.) Jupiter: Wait, the Rhys are gone? (to the new property. Kerry is present with a team of buyers.) Kerry: This property is nice and secluded, right at the end of the cul-de-sac. We have a victorian exterior, plus there's an outdoor pool, a jacuzzi, a gazebo, a beautiful backyard and a rec room in the basement. If you sign up for the neighbor committee we'll half the rental fee for the next three years. There's a path you could follow from the backyard that leads to a lake teaming with bass and pike. You do fishing? Hoyt: Not at all. Kerry: Me either. Cosmo: Hold everything! Do not buy this house! Kerry: Ugh! Bob: This house is no longer up for grabs. Hoyt: Are these my future neighbors? Kerry: Afraid so. Cosmo: Cosmo Kadic, I'm the principal at Belbury Middle School. Who're you? Hoyt: Hoyt Gross. Cosmo: So where're you from Hoyt? Hoyt: I'm from Massachusetts. Cosmo: Whatsawhosetts? Hoyt: Massachusetts. Martha: I'm not in the mood for fairy tales. Chris: I'm not in the mood for anything. Hoyt: Fairy tales? What're you talking about? Massachusetts is real. Tito: No it isn't. It's an urban legend created by George McGovern to cope with the fact that he lost to all fifty states, plus Filipino Japan. Hoyt: What about Washington D.C.? Hanneke: That place is a disgrace to the south, plus it's no state, just a bunch of yahoos on their own concrete island. Hoyt: Well where the heck are you from? Geoff: Wait, you want to hear from 36 different people? Hoyt: Some of you have to be from good areas, let's kill some time. Cosmo: Okay, I'm from West Bend Wisconsin. Ned: Kennedy Minnesota Bob: Anderson Missouri Enid: Lowell Arkansas Boris: Fairbanks Alaska Hanneke: Farmville Texas Tito: Statenville Georgia Lars: Technically Bath New York since he moved there and, well, I was had. Edgar: Fargo North Dakota Amber: Rumford Maine and that goes for my sister and my mom. Luther: Sioux Falls South Dakota Laney: Miami Oklahoma Dallas: Milford Deleware Autumn: Provo Utah Robert: Preston Idaho Frank: Chicago, though to be honest I moved to Eureka in my mid teens. Vivian: Howell Michigan Jerv: Lander Wyoming Preston: Coudersport Pennsylvania Andy: Safford Arizona Chris: Aztec New Mexico Mike: Battle Mountain Nevada Geoff: Newton New Jersey Dakota: Lakeview Oregon Martha: Belmont New Hampshire Harold: Lunenberg Vermont Rosey: Delta Colorado Trish: Sidney Iowa Allison: Westminster Maryland Chelsea: Bedington West Virgina Veronica: Princeton Kentucky Candy: Bristol Tennessee Hoyt: Well now it makes sense, you're from backwards counties. Cosmo: Backwards? Edgar: That is a pretty harsh assumption. One should not be judged by the orientation of their county, but by the content of their social exterior. Hoyt: One of you moved out of Chicago to be in Eureka, that's all the judgement I need, and I doubt any of you are any better. Andy: Asinine, you people are asinine. Mike: People like you. Andy: How am I asinine? Chris: No you idiot he's giving you the right thing to say. Try saying it out loud alright. Andy: Asinine, people like you are asinine. I don't see that big of a difference- Hoyt: Enough! I don't know why I even came to this town. Lars: Look, if you're not a Republican why'd you move here? Let alone this county. Woodstock is a republican stronghold. Hoyt: Your mayor told me to do it. Cosmo: Well there's your problem, you listen to idiots! Thanks to him parking violations are a thing in this county! Hoyt: Whatever, just stay off of my property, don't want you forcing the old ways upon me. (Hoyt goes into his house.) Enid: Could you believe that guy? We tell him where we're from and he treats us like we're from Alabama. Lars: It's democracy that led to three quarters of our ghost towns. We're the only thing keeping this county alive. Mike: He didn't even have any sense. We didn't even bring up our political views. I mean sure, we voted for Bush but we didn't even care if anyone voted for Gore. Okay that guy's a tree-hugging doofus but we voted for Carter way back when. Autumn: Do what it takes, that jerkwad is not staying in our neighborhood. Lars: Leave it to me. Hey Kerry, I'd like to make an offer- Kerry: Nice try, but according to the town charter, residents are only allowed to own one piece of residential property. Cosmo: Well, it wouldn't be fair to just give this guy the property when an outstanding offer was made before. Kerry: Excuse me? Hanneke: You mean you don't know? Someone's also interested in the property, but he never got around to making it known. Kerry: I'm not convinced. What's his name? Autumn: Warren. Kerry: Where's he from? Cosmo: Columbus Kansas. Kerry: Why hasn't he made an offer sooner? Dakota: Um, have you never been to Kansas? Nothing but fields and radical Christians over there. I'm surprised they even have internet there, let alone service. Bob: Plus he's suffering from laryngitis, he couldn't make a phone call if his life depended on it. Kerry: How do you know these things about him if he's out of state? Laney: I met him in high school, his condition got worse over time. Bear in mind we're from counties that are right above one another. Kerry: Alright. He has two weeks to claim the property, if he doesn't turn out- Cosmo: Then the jerkwad gets the property. Kerry: And soon enough we could make a bellwether out of this county. (Kerry walks away as Cosmo does a raspberry.) Boris: I'm going to let my kids know we'll be out for a while. Ned: Same. Bob: Good idea. Lars: Right behind ya. Cosmo: Advance notice strengthens a bond, or keeps it steady, whatever. (Boris and Hanneke get to their house.) Hanneke: Kids! Get down here now. (the kids go to them.) Boris: Your mother and I, oh, your aunt Dallas too, will be out for a while. Becky: Fine by me, Randall invited me to his house for a sleepover. Britney: The rest of us have plans, except for Merc. Hanneke: Right, you told us about that before. Okay you're off the hook, but you're on your own for dinner, and anything that happens to you is not our issue. Britney: Sweet sauce. (all but Mercury and Jupiter leave.) Mercury: So I'm in charge huh? Boris: Just about. Mercury: Fine by me- Oh, almost forgot, Jupiter broke the TV and lost the remote. Jupiter: Wanna put that in your blog or something? Boris: Wait a minute- Mercury: I got her to cough up the money needed to replace both, am I the best or what? Hanneke: Mercury. Mercury: I refer to people by their name in an irritated tone, not you. Hanneke: You're this close to getting grounded young lady. Cosmo: BORIS! HANNEKE! LET'S GO! Hanneke: We'll finish this later. (Boris and Hanneke leave.) Mercury: Well Jupiter, I hope you learned your lesson. Jupiter: Is it the lesson I'm thinking of? Mercury: I doubt it. Jupiter: In that case, I'm just going to sit in my room with the windows locked as if I've been grounded. (Jupiter heads upstairs) Mercury: Okay? (the next day, furniture turns up on the front lawn. Kerry arrives.) Kerry: Ah, I see Hoyt has already claimed the property. Warren, pssh. (Autumn and the other adults walk up to him.) Autumn: Oh, Warren's furniture's here already! Kerry: Wait what? Bob: Neighborly courtesy. We had his furniture sent over to us from Kansas, and we offered to help move it in for him. (Hoyt arrives.) Hoyt: What's going on here? Allison: Warren's got the property free and clear. Better luck next time. Hoyt: This must be a joke. Veronica: What? You think we paid for used furniture to make it seem like someone's moving in when it's part of a much grander scheme? Hoyt: Seems like it, but why would you say it as if it's true? Kerry: These are dangerous people Hoyt. They say things, they ignore the grander issues and they spin their little webs, making us look like the crazy ones. Hoyt: That's the MO of the Republicans. Lars: Democrats, you mean democrats. Hoyt: Democrats don't use hairspray to gimp their hair up like it's the 70s. Rosey: Now now, we're all adults here, but one of us can see clearly. (Rosey sprays Hoyt in the eyes.) Rosey: I dare you to tell the cops. That's the democratic way! Hoyt: Darn you and your spite methods! Cosmo: And don't you try to call the cops Kerry. Kerry: Yeah, thanks for helping me ruin my credibility. Jerks. (to Mercury. She has a box of pizza in her hand) Mercury: Jupiter, come out. There's no need to cry. Jupiter: I'm fine actually. A little sleepy but I'm fine. Mercury: Jupiter. Jupiter: If you're going to say my name in an irritated tone you might as well leave. Mercury: Okay, I'll do this as calmly as I could. You have to come out sometime. I have dinner. Jupiter: Leave it by the door, I have a small table that could prevent any food from landing on my bed. Mercury: Is there anything I could do to get you to come out. Jupiter: Not that I know of. Mercury: Hmph. (Mercury's phone rings. She puts the box down and goes to answer it. Jupiter opens the door and takes the box in.) Mercury: You snide jerk. At least throw me two slices! (Jupiter throws the slices at Mercury.) Mercury: Thank you. (to Kerry. He approaches Cosmo.) Kerry: Bet you think you're real clever. Cosmo: Hm? Kerry: Why must you undermine me in everything I do? Cosmo: It's our way of preventing you from looking like more of a fool than you already are. I call it tough love. Kerry: Look, we could live if the county swayed once in a while. Cosmo: It's democracy that killed half of our state. A quarter of our counties are dead, a bulk of our towns are unincorporated and now we have to put up with much grander taxation. If we lose any more of this state to your views, we won't even be the size of Washington D.C.. Kerry: I don't like this. Not one bit. Cosmo: Think of it as eating the vegetables served with your steak. They may seem unpleasant, but they're for the better. Kerry: What's your estimate? Cosmo: It'll be a clean sweep. Have a look. (the two see a landscaper on the property.) Cosmo: Warren's a hard worker, so we treated him to a landscaper so he doesn't have to contend with more headaches. (they see Robert playing with three dogs.) Cosmo: The guy loves dogs too. (Preston approaches them.) Preston: If you need me, I'll be sorting Warren's mail, he doesn't deserve junk. Kerry: He's not real. Cosmo: He's real alright. More real than your expectations. (Cosmo laughs and Kerry screams, running away.) (back to Mercury.) Mercury: Are you sad? Jupiter: Not really. Mercury: Are you angry? Jupiter: Nope. Mercury: Am I annoying you? Jupiter: Uh kinda? Mercury: Can I come in? Jupiter: No way. Mercury: Why not!? Jupiter: I don't go into your room often, and I think you should give me the same courtesy. Mercury: You have an answer for everything, don't you? Jupiter: If I did, I'd tell you the whereabouts of Ruben Greene. (It goes to Kerry, driving around the town.) Kerry: It'll blow over, it has to. Cosmo can't keep to his word, those mean snobbish jerks will get what's coming to them. (Kerry's phone rings.) Kerry: Hello? No it's not looking good. Wait wait, I'm working on it, I swear, he's getting that house. (Kerry hears someone honking the horn. He rolls his window down and sees a moving truck.) Man: Excuse me, do you know the way to De Palma Court. (Kerry screams and drives, evading traffic before going back to his phone.) Kerry: Get me the police! Officer: Village division. Kerry: Hello I'd like to report a conspiracy. 16-40 De Palma Court. Officer: Sir we don't handle conspiracies. Kerry: HELLO HELLO I WANT TO REPORT A CONSPIRACY! Officer: Sir, calm down. Kerry: If you don't do something then something bad will happen! Officer: How do you know? Kerry: I just know you have to believe me! Officer: You can make a report at the station. Kerry: That won't help! Don't you get it!? Someone's getting hurt! And it may as well be me! (Kerry drives to the house and sees more work has been done on it.) Kerry: No... (to Mercury.) Mercury: She's playing mind games. No, maybe someone else did it, that's an even bigger no. What's going on? Mercury: Maybe guilt's catching up to you? Mercury: Why should I feel guilty? Mercury: Immediate accusation, refusing to get both sides, other details you've chosen to ignore. Mercury: I don't need this. Mercury: You know what else isn't needed. Call dad. Call him and tell him you need more time to work out the events. Mercury: There's nothing more that could be done. Mercury: Before you hurt anyone else. Mercury: I didn't hurt anyone. Mercury: Listen to reason. Jupiter isn't at fault, she never has been. Mercury: LEAVE ME ALONE! (Mercury steps on something. She lifts her foot and sees it's the remote.) Mercury: The remote, but how...? ...Wait a minute. I took it to avoid fighting over the TV last Saturday. Oh man, I mean maybe the TV's her fault, but the remote! I've got to tell her. (Mercury goes to Jupiter's room. The door's open but she's not inside.) Mercury: Oh my gosh! She ran away! NO! (It goes to Jupiter who's helping haul boxes.) Boris: Thanks again for helping us Jupiter. Jupiter: Anything to get paid up. (the adults and her leave. Kerry goes to the front of the house.) Kerry: Warren. High and mighty. You're as useless as a state where fifty percent of it is barren fields. And your politics are as narrow as that. But what can you do? You don't even exist! (the curtains on the front window open and Kerry's greeted by a still figure. To the inside, a pulley pulls the curtain shut.) Kerry: What was that? (Kerry enters the house.) Kerry: Warren? Warren!? Why...? Why must you torment me...? (Kerry breaks down and cries. He sees the figure ahead and furiously charges toward it, knocking it down.) Kerry: What have I done...? (it goes to the adults in Cosmo's basement.) Victoria: Let's talk decorations, I don't want to go into the house without a plan. Amber: Hey, I already thought of that. Waterbeds for the bedroom and a privacy fence for some late night dips. Harold: Oh yes those late nights... Martha: Harold. Harold: Oh get used to it! Candy: Can we get a donkey? (the others look at her.) Candy: Like your ideas are better. Cosmo: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! (to Kerry, he drives to the lake and throws a body bag into a rowboat.) Kerry: There, now no one'll suspect anything. Wait... (Kerry gets onto the boat and rows to the middle of the lake, throwing the body into the water.) (Mercury is seen wandering around the block. Kerry drives towards her.) Mercury: Hey Mr. Hubbard. Kerry: Hey Mercury, what's up? Mercury: Blamed my sister for losing a remote even though I took it in the first place and it seems she ran away because of it. Et tu? Kerry: Losing my mind over who gets this house on the block, I might've apprehended someone. Good luck with your troubles. Mercury: Good luck with yours. (Kerry gets to the new house.) Kerry: The car, THE CAR! Forgot about the car! (Kerry goes to the car.) Kerry: Keys keys, no keys. Wheels' locked. (Kerry goes inside to look for the keys.) Kerry: Keys, spares, zilch. Must've had them on him. What if he's real? He's out of oxygen by now, and I doubt the keys could've escaped from his pocket. (Kerry rushes back to his car. He bumps into Jupiter.) Jupiter: Hey Mr. Hubbard. Kerry: Hey Jupiter, what's up? Jupiter: Got blamed for stuff, helped my folks haul boxes. Kerry: Alright alright alright, say, did you run away? Jupiter: No. Kerry: Good, not in the mood to give any advice. I have some keys to fish out. (Kerry goes to his car and drives off. Upon getting to the lake he commandeers a flashlight and dives into the lake.) Kerry *thoughts*: Sunk body sunk body help me find a sunk body. (Kerry finds the body and rips the bag open, only to be grabbed by something. He moves back after realizing that it was just his imagination and he goes for the keys, only to be grabbed by the neck and lose his flashlight.) (the next morning, the adults are by the new house.) Cosmo: 3... 2... 1. Well, we got the property. Wonder where Kerry is? (Hoyt drives up.) Hoyt: So what's the outcome? Bob: You're too late, there's more than enough evidence that Warren is living here. (everyone sees Kerry staggering.) Kerry: Warren... no more... Robert: At least he had existed for him to be no more, amirite? Kerry: So what do you think? Hoyt: You think I want to move here after seeing how vile this village is? Kerry: What're you talking about? Hoyt: People pestering me, calling things weird names, having no regard for the environment, I wouldn't move here if you paid me! Kerry: But you'll grow to love it. You don't have to talk to people, live how you want. Hoyt: I don't care. I'm not interested. Kerry: You- (Kerry's phone rings) ???: Time's up. Kerry: Don't do anything yet, he's coming close to making me an offer. (Kerry goes off the phone.) Kerry: Make me an offer. (back to the phone.) Kerry: Please, I just need a little more time- ???: Put the boy on the line. Background voice: Get over here you runt! ???: Alright son, tell your daddy how important it is to give this guy a house. Boy: Daddy please sell him the house. Kerry: Make me an offer! Hoyt: Didn't you hear me? I'm not interested. Kerry: You have to buy a house from someone, WHY NOT ME!? WHY NOT HERE!? This is a quality neighborhood! Hoyt: Forget it! I'm out of here. Kerry: YOU'RE NOT LEAVING HERE WITHOUT BUYING THIS HOUSE! (Kerry comes over brandishing a bat. He hits Hoyt in the shoulder. Hoyt: Huh!? (Hoyt runs.) Hoyt: Help! Please! (Hoyt sees Colleen about to cut off an owl's head and screams. He enters his car and Kerry leaps onto the windshield.) Kerry: Make me an offer! (Hoyt screams and drives.) Kerry: Don't go! This is a good neighborhood! I grew up here myself! (Hoyt drives by more horrific sights. He drives past Martha who's getting chased by a car.) Martha: Honey no! (Martha gets hit. Kerry keeps following Hoyt.) Kerry: I've got another place I could show you! It's a lovely triplex in New London! (back to the adults.) Cosmo: So what's the lesson here? Mercury: Mom! Dad! I have terrible news! Hanneke: What's the matter? Mercury: Jupiter ran away and it's all my fault! Boris: Mercury, Jupiter's with us. We had her help us haul stuff. Jupiter: It's true. Mercury: Oh thank goodness! Now there's something else I need to tell you. About the TV- Boris: We were trying to tell you, that knob's been broken for months. Just twist it back on. We told you about this. (a flashback occurs. Mercury is pulling nose hairs in the bathroom.) Hanneke: Mercury! The power knob on the TV's broken, if it comes off just snap it back on. Mercury: Uh-huh, twist knobs, whatever. (end of flashback.) Hanneke: You could just use the remote. Mercury: I... I sorta broke it. Hanneke: Mercury. Mercury: Look, I'm sorry. Hanneke: Remotes could be replaced. But there's the fact that you just blamed Jupiter without evidence. What do you have to say about that? Mercury: I was wrong. Very wrong. Hanneke: You owe us a new remote. Now get out of our sight. (Mercury wanders off.) (later, we see Jupiter get out of bed. She goes to her door and sees Mercury.) Mercury: Here. I got these sneakers. Heard you wanted to pay for them with the money I got from you. Jupiter: Uh thanks. Mercury: Jupiter, I may have been quick to blame you for the TV and remote business, and I shouldn't have. Jupiter: You're darn right. Just don't forget that anyone's capable of screwing up. Mercury: Is there any way you could forgive me? Jupiter: Why don't we just do what I wanted in the first place. That hair do. Mercury: You'd be wasting your time copying that style. It's the most basic when you get down to it. I could teach you how to make triple pony tails. Jupiter: Sounds cool. Mercury: It's simple. We just need some scrunches and hairspray- (back to the adults. Kerry staggers to them.) Kerry: Sorry uh, about my behavior for the past few days. Been under a lot of stress lately. Enid: Is there something you're not telling us Kerry? Kerry: I'd tell you, if I could find a good way to say it. But, whatever, guess the fate of the property is up in the air. Cosmo: Warren came in last night. Sorry Kerry, you put in a good effort, but I guess this county'll remain as is. ???: Excuse me. (the adults look and see a short old man.) Bob: Who're you? Warren: I'm Warren, you, helped me move in. Dakota: Wait, how's this possible? Warren: Laney, don't you remember we went to high school together? I would've called but I had to contend with my laryngitis. Plus the service in my area's not the best. I had to go to Omaha just to phone the state council. Cosmo: Well, okay. Nice to have another conservative in our town. Warren: I just have one question, did you vote for Bush? Cosmo: Y-yes? Warren: Then I want no part of any of you. (Warren walks into the house.) Cosmo: Great, we pushed our farce so hard it became real. You must be real happy now Kerry. Kerry: Kinda, personally I was never a fan of Hoyt. I just wanted him to get the house for the sake of balancing out the political scale. But I would never hang out with him, too pushy, did you know that he hates fishing? Delta: Maybe next he'll say he stops for ducks. Enid: I'm just glad we didn't have to go the trouble of saving him a seat at the Pyramid diner for our Saturday breakfast, and don't get me started on the every other Friday steak dinner. Kerry: Whatever the case, I've learned something. Ned: That as conservatives we're closer to traditional liberals in that we enforce the foundation of our country and refuse to back down to people instilling ideals that would backfire if they wind up being executed by the wrong people? Kerry: Well, two things. What I learned, I really hate Kansas. Cosmo: Agreed. (end)